Young Marriages in Kenya: Broken Dreams, Hard Truths.

My college life in Ongata Rongai exposed me to scenarios that left me mentally disturbed as a scholar.

A young, beautiful lady aged 19 who made a life-altering decision. Despite her parents having paid for her accommodation in the school hostels, she chose to move in with her boyfriend, living in a single iron-sheet room. The boyfriend was financially unstable, and as a caring girlfriend, she made the choice to use her weekly upkeep, provided to her by her father, to pay the rent for his house and finance his social nightlife, commonly known as “kupiga sherehe.”

Days turned into months, and the love the man once had for the young lady began to fade away. Disrespect became a daily occurrence, and he often accused her of being a narcissist whenever she questioned his irresponsible drinking behavior and his affairs with other women. Eventually, after six months of cohabitation, the young lady discovered she was pregnant. By that time, she had already given up on the toxic relationship.

Like the prodigal son in Jesus’ parable, she made the courageous decision to end the relationship and return home to apologize to her parents. She deeply regretted the unfortunate choices she had made, deceiving her parents and secretly moving in with her ex-lover. Marriages among Kenyan youth aged 18 to 24 face multifaceted challenges rooted in socio-economic, cultural, and personal development issues. One notable trend is the shifting perception of marriage’s importance among young women, particularly in urban areas like Nairobi.

Domestic violence is a critical issue affecting young married couples. According to the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey, 33.5% of ever-married women aged 20 to 24 have experienced physical, sexual, or emotional violence from their partners. Such violence not only endangers individuals but also weakens the very foundation of marital relationships.

Financial constraints significantly strain young marriages. Economic hardships often compel families to marry off young daughters in exchange for dowries or to reduce household burdens. This practice is prevalent in economically disadvantaged areas, with nearly 60% of child marriages driven by poverty. Additionally, financial stress within marriages often leads to conflicts, further contributing to instability among young couples.

I recall eavesdropping on a conversation between a 20-year-old young man and our local shopkeeper back in campus. The young man, visibly distressed, was trying to figure out how to feed his family that evening.

“Sometimes we have to contact my mother-in-law to borrow Ksh 150 for unga and sukuma wiki,” he lamented. His pain was evident, highlighting how financial struggles can push young couples to the brink of despair.

Intimacy issues further complicate young marriages. Factors contributing to this trend include medical conditions, psychological and emotional struggles, and modern lifestyle pressures. The resulting emotional distance can lead to infidelity and marital dissatisfaction.

Moreover, the rise of social media and online interactions has added another layer of complexity to modern relationships.

“Mia! Mia! Inbox me if you are interested in getting videos. Get my number from my bio.” This statement is not new among social media users.

Cases of young couples trading their nude videos and photos have become rampant, driven by the need to make quick money due to unemployment. It is troubling how excessive use of technology has detracted from meaningful personal interactions, reducing relationships to fleeting digital exchanges.

A recent study by Mwelekeo Insights revealed that 53% of women aged 18 to 30 no longer prioritize marriage, citing financial independence (52%), career ambitions (31%), and personal freedom (17%) as the primary reasons for this stance.

We have seen several organizations in Kenya actively working to address the challenges related to young marriages and associated issues. One notable initiative is led by World Vision Kenya, which launched ‘The Big Dream to End Child Marriage’ program in 2024, aiming to reduce child marriage prevalence by 2030.

Isn’t it time we equipped young couples with the tools they need to build stronger, healthier marriages?​

By Kimani Mwangi